messy

There is nothing easy

nothing perfect

and it is all a rough road

to nowhere

as you move forward

as you stumble

as you grow

as you get cranky

as you let go of everything

everyone and their fake niceties

the cloak most everyone hides behind out here

working.

I am quite sure

only that I don’t and I won’t work like that.

land let them all go

who try to be that paper mask of being….

I know

i struggle

to recognize faces

or pull data together fast

but

i get the jobs done just fine

thoroughly,

my way

building a foundation

and release each

work of art

out into the world

gone digging again

for what I need to drag forth

from a chart

as other did pieces of work

over weeks

when the finishing touches

are not

charted

the care aid and nurse who should know

don’t.

it feels like pulling teeth

as I do ground work

others clamour for now

as I realize they don’t actually know how

to do my job.

They wish they did

they think they do

and they try to tell me how

but the details are lacking

and it takes me time

no short cuts here….

letting it all do

setting it all down

maybe tomorrow.

that is all.