Yesterday I watched
a nurse sit
in the dark main central desk
where there has been on unit clerk for two days
and call in a moral distress, burnout work safe claim.
That day I did my own share
of unit clerking
faxed off my own orders
called my own medivan
to transport a patient I planned to discharge the next day…
complicated and tenuous at best.
Then the next watch a nurse go home after seriously burning her hand
lover spilt coffee
exhausted, stressed and distracted as the floor worked short again…
Then in half an hour
over multiple phone calls
watched the discharge
I spent all day the day before setting up
so carefully as the pieces all had to line up
just so…
after the bedside nurse
told the confused patient
she was going home
then called the violent aggressive son
because the patient gave that nurse permission to do so
The son then verbally aggressively chewed out the nurse over the phone
then called the community
and did the same to them
then I got a call from the community home support nurse
then her manager
then my team lead
shut the whole thing down right quick
needing no convincing the CHWs needed protecting first and foremost.
Later
After a chat with the enhanced discharge team CNL
wondering who told the son
to find out that
though we had tried to fly under the radar
the bedside nurse had done what she thought was right
in telling the patient
confused at best….
bedside nursing being a respiratory nurse, no geriatric seasoned nurse…
that she was going home with 3x8hr caregivers….
land it all came crashing down
like a house of cards.
Then later that day
probably feeling like she had done wrong
perhaps feeling guilty
and needing to blame someone…
striking out
demanding I tell the patient
who sure as heck wouldn’t remember later anyhoo
why she wasn’t going home…
while time was fading out
and I was in the way to see my MAID assessment patient
minutes ago up from emerg
finalizing
all the pieces to
carry him through at home
over the next 10days between
the doc hot on my heels to assess him for MAID
and his ride out…
telling the nurse in th hall demanding I take time
to explain to the confused patient now clearly a long slow haul
out to LTC she was going nowhere…
Have a open, honest, easy, refreshing conversation
with the MAID patient
stop on my way to
casually chat with the confused patient
briefly explaining she would be staying with us for a bit
chatting a bit more about LTC
return to write up and fax off
the MAID patients community collateral
then chart the brief LTC patient conversation …to come in
next morning to an email
from my colleague that
the CNL and that bedside nurse
who crashed my discharge had requested
my colleague take over the file on the
crashed discharge
replying
easy
Courteously
handed over the file
DBA done the day before
in the hour after it all fell apart
thinking only
grateful
the aggressive son
had been a threat over the phone
and not in person to some poor tiny lone
care aide in the community
land leave it at that.
Noting that when shit hits the fan
i revert to
charting furiously
multiple notes
date and time stamped
headed
knowing only that in court
if it blows up
i wont recall much
and those date and time stamped notes
will be my only shelter
my only protection
and how yet again
and am criticized
for writing
too much….
fuck em
and I think
of this stressful job
how I have risen
to learn a new specialty
in short months
how burnout haunts me still
how the anger flares
and the brittle
fragile tears too
and how
it wont be long
before I walk away
from this profession for good
like so many
as the system
crumbles around us
every minute of every day
and the stress causes us
to turn on one another
Painted love affair 