The rain is coming down outside
fall is most certainly here
I am cooking foods that I haven’t had in years…
apple pie baked with cristco by the taste of it,
while I do my spin workout –
pirogies,
pushing them around in the frying pan
stare at the bubbling in the heat
thinking back years…
Don’t say much
it will stay that way.
There is a line I’ve drawn in the sand.
No excuse not to get vaccinated
and I guess I always knew
we never were a good fit
just check boxes
superficial fun for a while
skin deep
doing things, taking up time
healing a little perhaps
but the truth is
what I never want to tell you,
this never was any kind of love affair
just something much less.
The ease that comes in a second the other day
seeing the fire burning as I walked in
dachshund relaxing on the workman’s blanket spread out there,
now that feels more like home than anything ever has
and it scares me to death.
How it is, just what we do,
simple things
and how easy it is to fall…
now I’m just in this state I don’t want to be in.
Seeing how what looks good and what feels right are two dramatically different things.
I’m not an open book you can riffle through
just cold hard truths spread out there.
There is nothing magic
and no perfect fit
in life
hearts of glass…
The steady hand I got used to.
Painted love affair 