Forward

I don’t know

and I don’t care,

tonight I’m going nowhere,

nowhere with anything or anyone

I don’t know what I have become,

don’t remember where I have come from

and everything that stretches out before me is empty.

Empty dreams and promises broken,

secrets not spoken,

You know I’ll miss you when you go away,

this week will be longer than I can say,

for all that I look forward to

is something stuck back there that I can’t break through.

I’ll promise you, I’ll try,

to grow up, to dress like the adult I am,

but I don’t know how far I’ll get

because the past and the present are a tangled mess.

I have yet to let go completely of my teenage self,

I have yet to step fully into

the adult I have no idea how to become

and yet I have walked further in that set of shoes,

to ever reconnect the that young girl I never was.

To move forward without looking back

That is harder than anyone would have you believe.

Promise me,

that is something you won’t forget.