Stepping in and stepping out

It has been a year

you step in and out of my life…

off to Ireland this time.

We cover ground

our personal lives

our parents

who we are

and how our lives thus far

have crafted us to become who are.

It strikes me

we are not so different you and I

we don’t talk to our fathers

we each have 2 siblings

I hope you find all it is you are looking for out there

as you set off to do one more thing on your bucket list

a life long dream

knowing full well you will spend only 4-5 months there

so perhaps you are settling down

consolidating a little

8 houses down to just 3 newer ones.

Money doesn’t bring us happiness.

People and connections do.

Can’t quite trust, that is what we have in common

well brought up, well educated

independent

yet we are fiercely protective

and you like to save them, those women you are with.

It is not lost on me

when you say you painted her house, bought one of the

Latest ones a new TV, then she ghosted you.

Or the fact that you dated 2 nurses of the 3 women

from the last year…

I am watching you slowly

as we stand arms around one another

staring our at the water and the setting sun

before you are off to do your next thing.

Highly empathic…you are.

You kiss my hair as we stand there

and I wonder if you will find all you are searching for

knowing you will be coming and going for

some time more

perhaps you will come back to tell me…

see I don’t trust, neither do you

our way of dating, relating

too casual

yet our core group of inner people

stays the same

and I can only wish you well

knowing full well

I have a life

it is here

and I’ll watch you come and go

chasing things

while you sort out

everything in your head

time churns and we learn

moving place to place

all the houses, material things

mean little

our key relationships mean everything.

So while you disappear out there

into the world

I can only hope you learn a great deal

heal a whole lot

don’t get hurt beyond what you can stand to bear.

That in time you come back

to tell me all you have learned.

 

Gordon Lightfoot – If You Could Read My Mind

If you could read my mind love
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie
About a ghost from a wishing well
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
With chains upon my feet
You know that ghost is me
And I will never be set free
As long as I’m a ghost you can see

If I could read your mind love
What a tale your thoughts could tell
Just like a paperback novel
The kind the drugstore sells
When you reach the part where the heartaches come
Come the hero would be me
Heroes often fail
And you won’t read that book again
Because the ending’s just to hard to take

I walk away like a movie star
Who gets burned in a three way script
Enter number two, a movie queen
To play the scene of bringing all the good things out in me
But for now love let’s be real

I never knew I feel this way
And I’ve got to say that I just don’t get it
I don’t know where we went wrong
But the feeling’s gone and I just can’t get it back

If you could read my mind love
What a tale my thoughts could tell
Just like an old time movie about a ghost from a wishing well
In a castle dark or a fortress strong
With chains upon my feet
The story always ends
And if you read between the lines
You’ll know that I’m just trying to understand
The feeling that you left

I never knew I feel this way
And I’ve got to say that I just don’t get it
I don’t know where we went wrong
But the feeling’s gone
And I just can’t get it back