How it is

It has been a long week

one of mixed emotions

of steep learning

mulling over how it is.

Of depression and feeling as if I am going to cry

to pulling it together and learning much more

and carrying on.

Of resetting boundaries

of new discoveries

and finally

of feeling free.

Mulling over sexual freedom

emotional well being

how those are tied

of grieving for all that has gone

of letting go

of giving in

of ring met unexpectedly and supported

of being deeply respected

and loved

knowing

my needs truly are put first

without my asking…

and that stays with me

frees me

gone is the thought of having children

gone is feeling vulnerable

replaced is the empowered sense

that

feeling safe in love is many things.

Finding balance in life

is complicated

learning to set boundaries is difficult and new.

A day of being out in the sunshine

feels wonderful

freeing

digging in the dirt is soul soothing

harvesting garden chard and broccoli

is the delightful surprise it always is

of the unexpected

of the discovery.

The long walk along the water

a renewed sense of grounding.

coming home chilled

to do some baking and food prep

then unwind with a friend

to come back to

how far we have come

under intense work pressures and stress

to take joy from learning new things

to find excitement and possibilities

once again around us.

Perhaps that is what it is all about