Toxic Comfort Zone

Snow ball

These days it is a bit harder to breathe

to get through a workout

and it has been a long haul

years of stress piled up

chronic intensity of it.

Talking to a yoga friend

I am reminded the world and history

is full

of intelligent, resilient people.

I simply need to find my way back.

My yoga friend reminded me that it was years in the making

this burnout

and it may take

a lot of time

to heal..

I don’t like being here

in this unknown place

where past trauma bubbles up

where reminders of work

where reminders of all I

Pushed through

come crashing in

like waves breaking to make me cry

sometimes

still.

This will continue

COVID outbreaks, deaths and short staffing everywhere.

The boomer cohort is dying out

twice as many people of age that need care

as there are people of age to do the caring

and amid it all

those doing the caring

are fewer

moral distress, moral injuries, chronic stress, burnt out

cut through those numbers

until—-

you have to put on your own O2 mask before you do so for someone else

you have to care for yourself

so that you don’t break,

don’t end up wrecked by it

the weight of it

but we are anyway…

being crushed under the weight of it.

Triggers are everywhere

and if young students are unmotivated

as we see them by their actions everywhere

aren’t able to fill in the ranks

where does that leave us

Faltering with no back up

a healthcare system

broken

under the weight of it

as we each are

the demands on our time

the ten thousand little requests

the endless stream of need out there

that can can scarcely meet.