Music filtering through the park
walking down deer trails
overgrown,
grass knee high
thinking how change has come creeping in slow.
Cried a bit over something today
but mostly I feel more relaxed
evening wandering
through move trails
summer evenings
realizing it has been 2 month
taken 2 months to get to this phase.
not quite so reactive
not quite so angry
let things go
and that article quote “ I can now stand to look at dishes in the sink and be ok with it”
ok with walking past
small triggers that used to really bother me.
Now I can let them go..
well…say nothing of ig ones
avoiding those still.
Gardening the last couple days
purpose
work
some sense of having energy and the care
to do things
get my life organized
tidied up
giving away garden plants, lots of them, houseplants too,
Planting new seedlings
More plans to move things around
cleaned the house…
hung up my degrees
space on the wall
as if I may never use any of them ever again
so they hold a place
on display
in the light.
As if to say
I was
I have
I did
but that was then
that was a different version of me.
The old version of me
died
2 months ago
and the new one is slowly forming
Painted love affair 